A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles. - Will Rogers
A leading authority is anyone who has guessed right more than once.
A good speech is like a miniskirt: short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the essentials.
A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke, or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow. - Charles Brower
A paperless office is as likely as a paperless bathroom.
A person should set his goals as early as he can and devote all his energy and talent to getting there. With enough effort, he may achieve it. Or he may find something that is even more rewarding. But in the end, no matter what the outcome, he will know he has been alive. - Walt Disney
A professional is someone who can do his best work when he doesn't feel like it. - Alistair Cooke
An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame. - Sam Ewing in Mature Living
Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.
Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick it once and you will suck forever.
Copying from one is plagiarism. Copying from two is research.
Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Louis Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo DaVinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.
Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats. – Howard Aiken
Efficiency is intelligent laziness. - David Dunham
Ever notice that "what the hell" is always the right decision? - Marilyn Monroe
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben
First Law of Bicycling: No matter where you're going, it's uphill and against the wind.
Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy. - Mark Twain
Give me a one-handed economist! All my economists say, 'On one hand...on the other...' - Harry Truman
Hell, there are no rules here -- we're trying to accomplish something. - Thomas Alva Edison
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. - English Professor at Ohio University
I love having ten times as much stuff to do as I can possibly find time to do. That way, I can pick the one-tenth that I want to do most. But if I only have enough to just occupy all my time, I'm stuck doing all of whatever stuff it happens to be. - Marilyn vos Savant
If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius. - Larry Leissner
If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play. - John Cleese
It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data.- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
It's kind of fun to do the impossible. - Walt Disney
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. I never did like to work, and I don't deny it. I'd rather read, tell stories, crack jokes, talk, laugh - anything but work. - Abraham Lincoln
My problems start when the smarter bears and the dumber visitors intersect. - Steve Thompson, wildlife biologist at Yosemite National Park
"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth. - Alfred North Whitehead
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. - General George S. Patton, Jr.
New ideas are always criticized - not because an idea lacks merit, but because it might turn out to be workable, which would threaten the reputations of many people whose opinions conflict with it. Some people may even lose their jobs. - physicist, requested anonymity
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.- Bertrand Russell
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. - Laurence J. Peter
People in their right mind never take pride in their talents. - Miss Maudie Atkinson in To Kill a Mockingbird
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
Self-plagiarism is style. - Alfred Hitchcock
So, rather than appear foolish afterward, I renounce seeming clever now. - William of Baskerville, The Name of the Rose
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. - Lily Tomlin
Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. - Carl Sagan
Success is 10% inspiration, 90% last-minute changes. - advertisement on a billboard
The discovery of truth is prevented more effectively not by the false appearance of things present and which mislead into error, not directly by weakness of the reasoning powers, but by preconceived opinion, by prejudice. - Schopenhauer
The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by somebody else's rules, while quietly playing by your own. – Michael Konda
The Feynman Problem Solving Algorithm: 1) Write down the problem. 2) Think very hard. 3) Write down the solution.
The first draft of anything is shit. - Ernest Hemingway
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. - Aldo Leopold
The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.' – Roy Blount, Jr.
The motivic papers often hopelessly increase their volume while you write them; they have a tendency to lead the reader astray from the central ideas and simple computations to the burdock thicket of generalities. We apologize as this seems to have happened with this paper. - Sasha Beilinson
The secret of teaching is to appear to have known all your life what you just learned this morning.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. - Albert Einstein
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. - Henry Kissinger
To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. - Thomas Alva Edison
Today's mighty oak is yesterday's little nut that held its ground.
Try to relax and enjoy the crisis. - Ashleigh Brilliant
We are torn between the craving to know and the despair of having known. - F. Sagan
Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find out how to do it. - Theodore Roosevelt
You cannot teach a man anything, you can only help him find it within himself. - Galileo
You may only have two of the three choices: (1) Enjoy your job. (2)Work within the law. (3)Make lots of money.